Mother’s Day 2012

My mother is a special lady. She’s special to me, her son, the rest of my siblings, and to her grandchildren. She’s, in a large way, responsible for who I am today, although I’m not always sure who that is. She might be responsible for that as well.

My mother, throughout my childhood, was my greatest booster. For her, all of my ideas were good ones. I can’t remember a single critical word about my thoughts, dreams, plans. Sometimes they were met with an “ohhhh”, but in the excitement of the telling, I never really realized that she was not on my side.

We spent a lot of time driving places together. She drove me to organ lessons (which later morphed to the piano) and sat in the car, out on main street, while Elmer U tried to get my fingers to go to the right notes for the right amount of time.  She drove me to public speaking competitions (sort of a nerdy thing to do in those days) and sat through the painful repetition of the same three to five minutes of text. During those drives, when it was just the two of us, she listened.

Me and my mom, early days.

I think that, along with all of the other mom things that she did well, was the key to her influence in my life. She listened to me, gave her advice from time to time, as if we were peers. She made me feel important and valued. She made it seem that I could do anything, and that I didn’t need to follow her path, or my dad’s, or anyone else’s. I was my own person.

She’s still like that. I think she’s often surprised by the things that I have ended up doing, but, she needs to know that those things are likely her fault, because she never put the brakes on earlier.

Thanks Mom.

Reminiscing

This past week, for some reason, my daughters have been looking at the past, at least one of them with some sense of fondness. Both are bloggers. One of them maybe got the thing started with a characteristically oblique post followed by the other with a more eloquent offering.

The house in the 50's

Their posts revolve around our old house. Both of them posted the same picture from an era well before the time that we lived in it. It was a big old farm-house, home for our family for eighteen years. Our youngest daughter was born there. The other two children may have vague memories of other places, but this house would have figured largely in their lives. It was home.

When we moved in it was livable for a family that was trying to start a farm life and  willing to put up with less to make that happen, but really, it was a mess. The windows throughout the house were in bad condition. The frame addition that housed the kitchen and bathroom was sided with rotting painted particle board. There was little insulation. The oil bill was high and we actually did not heat most of the house. A wood stove in the kitchen kept us warm during the day, blankets did the job at night.

As we left it

Over the years we did renovate and fix. If we were doing it today we’d likely have a renovation blog. As it is, there are virtually no before and after pictures and those  there are only happened because we were taking a picture of somebody. There were no digital cameras back then and film was too expensive to waste on remembering what we wanted to get rid of. The house was entirely gutted in three stages over about eight years. A new kitchen and bathroom were installed. All the windows were replaced. The particle board was covered with siding. Two new porches were built. We put on a new roof. The carpets were pulled out and the wood floors underneath were sanded and refinished. A new wood stove, furnace and water heater were installed. Heating bills went down. We started to use the whole house.

It was more than just a house

At the same time, we built barns and sheds and a silo. We built a life and a business. It was a business that allowed us to work together as a family (code for child labour). While money was always an issue since there were more ways to use it than places for it to come from, this time in our life was a good one. We raised our family, we learned together, we dreamed together.

But, life moves on. Life throws curve balls that are unexpected, that change the direction that you think you are supposed to go. So we moved on. We were blessed in that moving as well. Somehow God gets the message through that its time for the next step.

There are things about that time and place that I miss. They are not the same things that my kids may reminisce about. I miss the dreaming, the sense of possibility, the sense of working with, or against nature, and succeeding. The sense that next year would be the one when things would come together. I miss the order of the seasons and the work plan that they wrote. I miss the common cause that J and I once had, every day, on almost every front.

But, I don’t really miss the house.

Genesis 12:1-3

On Grandfather-hood

It seems that I am going to become a grandfather.

Our daughter, R, is pregnant, news which we have known for a few weeks, but, which has been made public in only the last few days. She was here over Christmas, but, we followed her wishes and quietly savored the news within the confines of our immediate family. The baby is due to make its appearance in June. We are already planning our next trip west!

One of the good things about this sort of news is that you normally have some months from the announcement to the coming of the new addition to get used to the idea. I’m just not sure if I feel old enough to be grandfather material.  I spend most of my days at school, learning, hanging out with people who are mostly younger than I am. That youth rubs off. Some of my profs are my age (and younger) but somehow I see them as considerably older and wiser. Most of them are not grandparents.

I’m not sure how I feel about sleeping with a grandmother. (she’s not sure about sleeping with a grandfather (she actually said…with such an old fart!!!))

It’s another phase in life, another milestone. Time just keeps marching on. R will always be my little girl, but she went and got all grown up, and now, she’s going to be a mom. I’ve been blessed as a husband, as a father, and now, I trust that I will also be blessed in my role as a grandfather, however that might look.

Really, I am excited about this next phase of the journey!

Christmas 2011

We are two-thirds of the way through our 2011 Christmas celebration. Our kids began arriving on Tuesday and by Friday night all three were here with their significant others and various pets.  Our house feels a lot smaller.

Yesterday, Saturday, we gathered in the church basement for my parent’s Christmas. I don’t think you could call us a close family, but we have kept up the tradition of coming together at Christmas time to celebrate mom’s birthday and Christmas. We eat together, sing carols, watch as the younger children receive gifts from their grandmother, eat some more, and spend some time catching up. This was the first time in a number of years that all of our kids were able to be there.

Today, we went to church and reflected on the gift of Christmas, described in God’s love letter to us. A big Christmas lunch followed. Both turkey and ham, the amazing mashed potatoes, two kinds of stuffing, great wine, and more. There were lava cakes for dessert. After cleaning up and some naps we went for a walk through the blowing snow in the bush with two very energetic dogs.

Right now, It’s just before 8 pm. There is a game of Risk going on behind me with more than a little bit of blue air being created. Daughter J is playing a computer game. At least two people are sound asleep. Mostly, it feels peaceful.

Tomorrow, its J’s family Christmas and then off to Toronto to get the travelers close to the airport for their Tuesday morning flights. J and I will do some shopping during the day with J and M.

So far, Its been a good Christmas. We are blessed.

Ten Days to Christmas

The Season is here. Christmas is only ten days away.

J has the house decorated. She did it while I finished those last papers a week ago. Apart from bringing the tree up from the basement, I wasn’t much help. We have a garland on the porch railing and a big wreath outside the front door.She devised a new kind of decoration for the inside railing that includes our collection of special ornaments, “Our First Christmas 1980″,  ”Baby’s First Christmas 1982″, the Bernese Mountain Dog figurine, and mementos from other events and travels. She also decorated our dining room chairs with ribbons and balls, an idea she got from a Christmas open house tour in a nearby village.

Our tree is a small one, sitting in our bay window, this year surrounded by the nativity scene. J is starting to think that her nativity scene is starting to look tacky. I disagree. It is a display of her handy work and does as good a job of telling the story as any other, more elaborate, display that I have seen. The sheep and the manger were added last year. Until then Jesus slept in a Tupperware container filled with cotton batting.

Our Christmas traditions begin as well. This Saturday I will sing in the Messiah. It’s been a few years since I was part of a local choir that puts on the performance, but, I am really looking forward to it. Sunday E.and C hold their annual “at home”, something that we have attended with friends and neighbors for over ten years. In the evening we will go to the Candlelight Service at the church. I still remember the first one, likely in the early 70′s, put on by the Evangelism committee. It really didn’t do much to bring our community into the church, but it was magical.

Our kids will all be home this year. This was an unexpected surprise. It won’t be a long visit, and we will have to share them at two family Christmas celebrations, but it is a gift.

In it all, we will remember that the real gift of Christmas is that baby in the manger, God incarnate. Hallelujah!!

Done!!!

It seemed like a long pull, but, the last paper of the semester was submitted half an hour ago. It was Hebrew Exegesis and I was looking particularly at Genesis 12:1-3. It’s amazing how three short verses can turn into 4000 words and still not give the feeling that enough

Done!!! Inage courtesy http://billyjohnson.wordpress.com/

has been said.

The prof was good enough to give me an extension to take a bit of pressure off at the end of the term. It was appreciated and I don’t think I abused his generosity, but, the extension may have lifted a little too much pressure. The paper was originally due on Tuesday. I worked on it Tuesday, after finishing a New Testament take home exam, and on Wednesday as well between rations and phone calls. Thursday I made farm calls for Threefold Consulting as I did on Friday morning as well. Friday afternoon and evening were taken up by a funeral and a movie (more on that later). So, by this morning it was starting to feel like the generosity was turning into a lack of motivation to finish. Deadlines are a good thing.

More than three full weeks are stretched in front of me. I really want to read a few real books. Lose myself in novels, in fantasy, in fiction. I miss reading for fun. There will be a bunch of farm calls to do and some training sessions, but no 4000 word papers.

Of course, Christmas is part of the coming weeks. Everyone will be home which is exciting. Distance makes it impossible for our family to be together very often. It is a real treat that it is going to work out this year.

A contented sigh.

Home from LBL Cottage

We are home again from a wonderful week of doing almost nothing. Nothing is not really true. Those of you who know us, know that doing absolutely nothing is just not part of the program. We did do things. We canoed, we hiked, we read (a lot) things that were not necessary to read, we ate (a lot and well), we drank (most of us in moderation), we played games together, some of us knitted, cross stitching and chip carving happened. We went to bed early and slept late. We were together as a family for the first time in over a year and we are still a family at the end.

LBL Cottage was both an inspiration and a disappointment. Inspiring in that  living in a log house has always been a sort of dream for J and I.  This log house (called a cottage) was something over 3000 square feet and gave that feel of solidness that comes with a big log building. A huge fireplace dominates the great room and was used on a couple of cool nights. The place maintains its cottage feel throughout with painted plywood on the floors and a very simple kitchen. The cottage was built over 20 years ago and the trees have filled in all around it.  It sits alone on the private lake making it a very quiet place.

Our lake for the week

Unless the generator is running! The cottage is off the grid.  A generator provides electricity to run the water pump and really nothing else.  We continually watched the water pressure gauge which was mounted in the kitchen.  The mathematicians of the family started to calculate the  pressure costs of each household function. A flush of the toilet was eight pounds, filling the kitchen sink was 10. Each running of the pump would yield four flushes or three fills. When we took showers the generator ran constantly. We got used to pumping water, not a big disappointment.

The view from the bathroom window

The disappointment came with the propane side of the equation. All of the other things in the cottage that we normally run with electricity, were propane. Propane lights were fitted throughout the house, a total of nine fixture for the entire 3000+ square feet. These fixtures produced about as much light as a 40 watt light bulb.  With all the lights on, we still needed flashlights to read at night. The propane fridge was actually more disappointing. Quite a lot of food which we bought in a volume big enough to last a week since the stores were far away, spoiled before we could use it because the fridge was just not big enough or powerful enough to keep up.

The disappointments, while adding a bit of a damper, were not big enough to spoil our week.  Maybe they made it. If the place had been perfect, it would either have been booked or far too expensive for us to afford. It sure beat living in a tent!!!

Next week, back to school.

A Sobering Weekend

This past weekend was one that really caused me to stop and think again about life and blessing. Big things were going on in the world. Libya was coming to the end of a bloody rebellion, world finances continued to be in crisis, the stock markets appeared to be free-falling, in Somalia children continue to die as a result of the drought there. All of these things, while very important and frightening seem far away from our little, generally blessed, part of the world.

Sunday changed that as a tornado ripped through the central part of our county landing squarely on the downtown of the county seat, Goderich.  The tornado came ashore from Lake Huron a mere 22km (as the bird flies) from where we were celebrating my father’s 75th birthday. To stay out of the rain, which was thundering down, we were all in the drive-in shed. Since the wind had picked up, someone decided to close the doors. The rain on the tin roof obliterated all other sounds. If the tornado had come our way, we would not have noticed until it took the shed away.  Looking at the pictures coming from Goderich, it is a wonder that more people were not seriously injured or killed

And then Monday the announcement of the death Jack Layton. I had never personally met Jack. For a while in the 90′s we were members of the New Democratic Party and over the years have watched as Jack rose from Toronto city council to leader of the federal NDP and leader of the official opposition this past fall. His initial fight with cancer and his broken hip were reasonably public events. His death surprised me. It had only been a month since he stepped away from his public duties.  There had been no updates about his condition and suddenly he is gone. He could likely win the election today.

We were celebrating a birthday while Goderich was ruined, while Jack struggled through his final hours. It was a good celebration for us as a family. Things have not always been easy in my dad’s 75 years. The things happening around us remind us just how fragile the things we take for granted really are and how quickly our lives can change. We are again reminded about where we find our only comfort.

While writing this post, a truck has come up our driveway pulling a trailer loaded with wood from Goderich. The trailer has a flat tire. I have helped get the tire off and a little later will help these guys get it back on and down the road. My little contribution to the repair of the town.

A Job Finished…Well Almost

You may remember my post from a couple of weeks ago, written as we began a construction project to house our hot tub in a more pleasant location. Well the job is virtually finished. Our contractor did an amazing job finishing his part of the project in four days…by himself. We finished putting down the patio on Saturday. I still need to build a flowerbed at the end but apart from that, its done.

We moved the hot tub in today with the help of a neighbor with pallet forks on his tractor. He helped to push it into the corner, where it takes up a little less room than expected.

Last night we invited folks from church to see the pictures of our Camino trip earlier this summer. They enjoyed our new “fire bowl” which allows us to have a fire right on the patio. It was a little crowded for the twenty or so that showed up.  The roof was really appreciated when it started to rain.

We’ve got a Building Project Going On

We’re building!!!

For a number of years we have felt that our hot tub is just in the wrong place.  It’s on our deck right outside the master bedroom door.  Now this is ideal, since lots of folks say that if the tub is more than three steps away from the door, you won’t use it in the winter time. That may be true, but  this deck gets three to four feet of snow on it and if those three steps are steps up to your thighs in snow, you don’t use the tub either. Especially if you need to spend twenty minutes shoveling the thing off before you can even open it.

The other disadvantage of having it just outside the bedroom door is that when it does its cycling (pumping water etc.) during the night, it wakes me up.

Its been in its current location for five winters now, and that’s enough. Its moving.

We are going to add a piece to the west side of the house.  Really just a roof in a corner. Two sides will be open. The tub will be three steps from the garage door.  Maybe not quite as handy for that early morning, straight out of bed sitting in the tub time, but likely a bit more convenient in terms of snow, rain and noise in the night.

We have a young contractor who is going to build the roof. We decided to take on the floor ourselves.  Initially we looked at having a contractor do coloured stamped concrete, but that was way expensive.  We’ve decided to do almost twice as much, with patio both under the roof and outside, using patterned patio stones and we will spend less than half the money.

J and I started Monday, clearing out the sod and by this evening, between working on Hebrew and all the other things that go on in life, we have the base finished for our new 16X30 foot patio. It’s all level and compacted.  Now we are waiting for the patio stones which had to be special ordered at the lumber yard.  It’s been really hot this week so we have been working in the morning and evening and tackling other things (read Hebrew) in the heat of the day.  We still come in soaked.

Running the compactor making a hard base for the patio stones. Doesn't it look nice and level.

Our contractor will pour the concrete for the posts which will hold up the roof on Monday.

After a summer that seems to have been spent in my office, writing papers, studying Hebrew, and  running rations, its nice to do something with my hands and back.